Following their 0-0 draw to Burnley, Sunderland’s David Moyes has made the conclusion that his side lacked “Britishness”. Explaining his squad choice saying, “I decided I wanted Jack and Gibbo together. I though the game might suit more Britishness in the middle of the pitch.” Moyes’s keen tactical eye must be trusted.

He was disappointed no one named “Razza” or possessing a beer gut was available for selection, but suggested Jack Rodwell and Darren Gibson would provide more resistance to any potential pie-related dangers brought out by his counterpart Sean Dyche.

As Moyes and the Black Cats stare down the barrel of potential relegation, seven points from safety, he continued that they would need more “Spanishness” on the wings if they hoped to beat the drop.

“You see a team like Liverpool and they do quite well. They’ve got a nice blend of Cameroonianness and Belgianness in the back. You can see they’ve struggled a bit recently with that lack of Croatianness, but that’s a sort of mix we should be emulating.” Centerhalf Dejan Lovren has missed a number of games recently with a knee injury.

Citing he might possess too much Scottishness himself, Moyes postulated that he may attempt to bring social progress further back into the early 20th century by asking that woman stay home for Sunderland’s upcoming home match against Manchester United and start the Sunday roast going.